The Treacherous Mind of Sirius Black
by Sam Morales of Sabertooth
Summary: Sirius believed his interest in gals was true and perpetual, but his heart thinks otherwise and his treacherous mind makes sure he understands just who he really loved. Wolfstar oneshot. Rated M for smut.


**More Wolfstar oneshot! More smutttttttttttt! YES! I love these two (but rlly i should make a series of oneshots right?)**

 **Notes: Rated M for more smut. You've been warned! Also, I was stuck between 'the truthful mind' and 'treacherous mind'. Bad with titles you see.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All credits goes to J.K Rowling.**

* * *

 **HARRY POTTER**

The Treacherous Mind of Sirius Black

 _A Wolfstar oneshot_

Girls were an easy prize for someone as handsome as Sirius Black.

Ordinarily, they come to him; he was irresistible with his lustrous black hair, striking grey eyes, tall and well-built frame and, predominantly, his charm and casual elegance.

Other times, the elder Black approached the girls and yet the result was the same: they would end up clustered inside one of Filch's cupboards, or the Restricted Section of the library, or the corner of Gryffindor's common room, arms thrown about each other and mouths locked, snogging shamelessly.

Despite his natural luck with girls, he wasn't interested in forming any permanent relationship. For him, there was no fun in limiting himself to one girl and cutting ties with others. Freedom was his spring for entertainment, the fundamental idea of the Marauders, and he'd be damned if he allowed it to wane because of one silly commitment.

Sirius Black wasn't prurient, but he doesn't mind the attention he receives at all: to sit on the Gryffindor common room's armchair and have a girl on his lap, or on the couch with his arms strewn over their shoulders, while others writhe and watch with envy did miracles to his ego. Not even the famous James Potter was as popular with girls, much less Lily Evans who he fancies to no end, and Sirius was basking and bragging about the vista.

He liked girls. He really liked girls.

-"Hey, you're stepping on my foot!"- The girl he'd been snogging at the moment complained.

-"Sorry, er—"- Sirius replied, shifting and pulling back slightly. There was one drawback in snogging inside the cupboards: they were most uncomfortable.

Wait, what was her name again?

There was no need for him to remember or apologize to the girl because her mouth was on his again, hard and demanding. Sirius breathed through his nose and closed his eyes as he pressed himself against her form, pushing her against the wall and locking her in place while they kissed.

Gryffindor robes began to fall as the kiss heated, filling the small room with desperate pants and breathless moans. The girl was bold; she had her painted nails digging the skin of his neck, forcing his mouth into hers further as she steadily unfastened his shirt, two buttons at a time. It turned him on, her deftness and nerve, and he gladly invaded her cavity with his tongue, moaning inside when her soft fingers touched the skin of his chest.

He hadn't realized that he was already shirtless, exposing his well-built torso and the bush of chest hair that so many girls swooned over. Whoever this chick was, she was quick too.

He's starting to like this girl. If only he could remember her name…

A yelp of surprise escaped his busy lips when she fisted a hand on the thin hairs of his chest to yank him against her curvaceous body.

Merlin, she's rough too. She's starting to be a treasure. At least he knows she's from Gryffindor. That's something, isn't it? She looked younger than him too. Fourth year?

As she thoroughly fondled his chest with her smooth hands, she kept chafing her upper body against him hysterically, begging for Sirius to undress her. He complied, of course, starting from the Gryffindor cardigan to her blouse until she was only wearing her inner garments. Her bra was a fuchsia shade of pink that easily came off as well, allowing Sirius to cup her breasts in his palms and causing her to shiver and moan lustily in his mouth.

He really liked girls. They were soft and supple…

And hard. Rugged. Flat.

Flat?

Sirius shook his head, focusing on his affectionate ministrations on the girl's bosom, ultimately causing her to break the kiss. She was moaning louder now, head tossed back and long hair dangling. Sirius' lips had to be occupied though, or they get bored, so he aimed for her neck and started sucking the skin, climbing up to her—

—hard jawline that looked… oddly mannish for a girl. _What the…?_

Again, Sirius shook his head, a little more vigorously this time. He continued to kiss his partner's neck, all the while making sure that his scruff caressed her skin, moving to the middle of it where—

—an Adam's apple bulged and bobbed enticingly. What in the name of Merlin's pant is happening to him? Girls don't have a prominent apple! Only blokes do!

-"Sirius…"- The girl whimpered and Sirius could've sworn it sounded throaty and rumbly, like a… like—

Maybe a smack to the head will work and Sirius abandoned one of the girl's bosoms to hit himself in the temple with the underside of his palm. He was glad that she was too busy groaning in pleasure to notice, because he looked downright nuts and it was embarrassing.

Back to the business at hand, she had that squeaky begging tone when she moaned his name and he knew what she was asking for (if the way she persistently skimmed her pelvis with his stiff midriff wasn't a good enough tip). Sirius complied because he's all for indulging lassies, giving them exactly what they want _(such a chevalier!),_ and this one is truly inpatient and needy.

Without further ado, Sirius traveled south, with fingers squeezing and pinching her smooth skin all the way to the small button of her skirt. He popped it open, letting it drop unceremoniously to the floor to expose a lingerie that matched her upper corset. Looking down and seeing a round blotch of wetness contrasting with the bright color of the silk made Sirius feel triumphant and smug, boosting his already loaded ego.

Motivated and fueled, Sirius slithered farther down her belly and slipped his digits into her wet knickers. He was heartily welcomed into her privates and was quickly met with her secretion as the tips of his fingers touched her flower, slick and tepid. The owner of said fanny shivered and gasped, jostling her hips onto his hand and locking her legs…

Legs that seemed too sturdy and stiff to be a girl's, no doubt resembling that of a man's, like the rest of the spontaneous images he's been having that night.

But that's impossible. He liked girls. He really liked them. He always has. Why was he fantasizing about blokes now?

What was wrong with him? Has he finally gone _nuts_?

Frustrated and confused, he gripped the unnamed girl by the waist, and with a smothered grunt, he pushed her against the floor, him towering over her like a hungry glutton. He ignored the way her body, or his vision of her, swirled and threatened to transform.

She positively beamed up at him with her eyes twinkling greedily, tossing her hands around his neck and pulling him down against the middle of and between her teats, nearly suffocating him, -"Oh, Sirius!"- She squealed delightedly, -"You're so rough!"

Tongue dabbed on her skin and escalated the alp of jiggly flesh to wrap the lips around her areola and suck harshly. Sirius' fingers pushed past her vulva angrily, rubbing and stimulating the rubbery rod in time with his mouth's work. He kneaded her with his palm briskly, back and forth, into the heady heaven that was orgasm. The girl's wall crumbled and she came explosively with a shrilling cry of his name and a stream of her nectar that doused his hand.

But it wasn't enough. Not for Sirius. It wasn't satisfying enough. And the images of blokes were getting daring.

He continued, far more irritated, fingers digging deeper into her clitoris, his intrusion eased and lubricated by her ongoing creaming. As she writhed and moaned louder, however, Sirius' battle against his treacherous mind continued to rage, more fiercely, and he was losing: the bulbous chest became flat, hairy and rugged, the curvy waist straightened, the thick thighs thinned and jaw and cheekbones hardened.

Then, Sirius wasn't kissing a girl anymore. He was kissing a bloke.

It's the last thing he wanted, to get off to a guy (worse yet, a figment of his imagination), but he was too bloody stymied and whetted to resist so he allowed the image to solidify. If that is what he truly wanted, deep within some uncharted part of his heart, then so be it.

The bloke beneath him was… _wow_. Sirius stared and stared and could sworn he looked familiar; olive skinned, green eyed and with curly locks of light brown hair over his head. His lips were pink, a little dry but tender. Definitely kissable.

Sirius' insides were churning hotly and coiling and his midriff became rock-hard. He couldn't resist anymore; he plunged down on his imaginary bloke and kissed his lips, hard. Waves of satisfaction rattled his entire body, from head to toe, and Sirius emitted a rather whorish moan that he didn't realize he was capable of making.

Blimey, it felt marvelous. Fantastic. The human mind truly was powerful.

But he wanted more. So much more.

Sirius pulled up, long fingers clinging to the brim of his trousers to unzip and pop open the shackles. He kept a firm hand on the bloke's chest as he fished out his stiff prick and started stroking himself to him. The heat that bubbled inside at the friction was unlike anything that Sirius had ever felt. Masturbating had never felt this _good_. Why, for the love of all that's magical, did it felt different—so, so, _so_ much better than when he does it in the presence of a girl or alone?

It was like this time, he really, really, _really_ wanted to do it. It wasn't just a necessity, being both hard and sexually frustrated; he _wanted_ to do it. He wanted to show this bloke just how good and handsome and irresistible he was. He wanted to _impress_ him. Get his undivided attention.

The bloke beneath him was smiling, as if he were proud that Sirius has figured that out, and it was beautiful. Breathtaking. Purely sensual. And Sirius wanted to jerk faster, spill his milk all over that _perfect_ —

Sirius' came undone with an incomprehensible mess of curses and loud moans and it was wicked because he has never climaxed so fast before. The aftershocks of the abrupt orgasm nearly drove him off-balance, but Sirius re-composed himself and looked down again. He sighed and licked his lip at the sight of the bloke's chest splattered with his whiteness.

That's it. He's definitely into blokes.

And this one in particular looked dashing enough to fuck and Sirius wanted it. He wanted more and more and more, like he could _not_ get enough of this guy, and said guy was looking eager and ready for him too.

Then Sirius realized he has never fucked a bloke before. It can't possibly be any more different than shagging a girl, can it?

-"Sirius…"

Sirius was aiming at that tight-looking and enticing pucker when the voice startled him. He froze mid-position. The voice was undoubtedly male, but it sounded so ghastly familiar…

-"Sirius…,"- It spoke again, with want and longing lacing the tone, and Sirius shuddered violently. The skin of his forehead and temple were sticky with perspiration and he didn't dare look up, -"Please…"

Sirius finally looked, eyes squinting and scrutinizing, hovering across the bloke's torso, and the once perfect skin became marred with arbitrary and distinct scars that darned his previous image.

He has seen this pattern of scars before. Many, many times. They had always seemed intriguing to Sirius; never once has he been disgusted or repulsed by the disfigurement. Now, however, he was seeing them under a new light and he wanted to kiss each and every one of them and lick them.

It could only belong to one person. Stomach heavy and throat tight, Sirius looked a little farther up to meet the eyes of his dearest friend.

-"Remus?"

It _was_ Remus; with his short brown-chestnut hair, light green eyes, and olive skin, speckled with freckles and moles. Then there was the scar across his nose and a smaller one across his pink lips. The one from the werewolf, latent since he was four years old, was there too, spreading from his shoulder and up the side of his neck. He couldn't deny it; it was Remus John Lupin.

He couldn't believe it was he who Sirius was imagining now and he could not accept the implications.

But seeing the boy under him, so helpless and vulnerable, flushing madly and sweating in all his naked glory… Sirius wanted to shag him senseless very, _very_ much. Nothing will come out of it, he reassured himself. It was all in his mind after all. Nobody would know he fucked a figment of his imagination, a figment of his _friend_.

-"Remus?"- Then the image crumbled, falling over Sirius like a bucket of cold water, and the voice returned to the shrilling tone of the original owner of the body, -"Who's Remus?"

-"I…"

He wasn't allowed to give a proper answer. The girl had slapped him across the face with such ferocity that left his skin burning and throbbing. Then she pushed him off and stood, picking up her discarded clothes and putting them on.

-"It's very rude to think of other girls while snogging one, you know!"- She huffed and tossed her hair back, -"I certainly don't appreciate it!"

Sirius was flummoxed, stunned and frozen in place. He was still looking down where Remus had been a second before, his prick still erect and throbbing.

The girl sputtered, indignant, -"How dare you ignore me!"- She slapped Sirius again, harsher, before storming out of the cupboard.

Sirius was royally screwed.

* * *

-"James!"- Sirius returned to the common room, yelling his friend's name.

-"He's in the dormitory,"- One of the Andrew twins replied, -"Jeez."

The elder Black hurtled up the stairs and slammed the door open. He was momentarily relieved when he found the famous Potter lounging on his bed, reading one of his Quidditch magazines. Again.

-"Where're the others?"- Sirius asked, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

-"Raiding the kitchens for tonight,"- James replied, -"How did it go with—"- He finally looked up from the page he was reading and the wide smirk he was wearing died upon Sirius, whose hair was tousled and his eyes were red. The red hand mark on his cheek was impossible to miss, -"Oh, blimey. You look roughed and I don't think she just liked to play it hard. What happened, mate?"

Sirius made sure the door was locked before crossing the threshold and slouching on James' bed. Peeved with himself, he threw his arms up and, in one minute, he told his friend the whole story.

-"So you're queer."

James reaction was not at all what Sirius was expecting. It was as if he has expected this all along. But that was impossible, right? Potter's a genius, sure, but not psychic.

-"No!"- The embittered Marauder was pulling on his hair, -"Balderdash! It doesn't make any sense!"

James looked doubtful, his lips curling downward, -"Actually, it does."

Sirius felt murderous now. James was supposed to contradict him, to support him, tell him that _no,_ he does not dig blokes now, so sudden and nonsensical. That he still liked girls, like a normal guy. Isn't that what best friends are supposed to do?

-"I mean,"- James sighed and ran a hand through his unruly hair, scratching his scalp and narrowing his eyes, concentrating, as if trying to find the best way to phrase this in a way that Sirius could understand. Who does James think he is? A child? -"Think about it Sirius. Why are you always snogging girls, one after another?"

-"Because I like them?"- Sirius replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

-"No, because… one is not enough for you, ain't it?"- James explained sagely, -"Because you're never satisfied enough."

That was a lame annotation, Sirius thought. It could be because he really, really, _really_ liked girls, and because he's noncommittal. Which is true! Yet somehow, he could not argue. Deep down, he knew James was right again. No matter how many girls he manhandled, no matter how many he shagged and touched, it wasn't enough. He wasn't content or fulfilled at the end of the day. Sure, he felt positive and more arrogant that he won yet another chick more than James, but not happy. Never happy.

Kissing his imaginary Remus, however… felt like he discovered not only Earth, but the _universe_.

-"And about Remus… I've always known you fancied him, in a way. I couldn't believe it at first, but…,"- James continued, taking Sirius' silence as a sign that he was listening raptly, -"Wish I could record the way you look at him, mate. Dead giveaway."

-"That's all?"

-"Nah. Definitely not,"- James shook his head, -"C'mon, use that airhead of yours!"

But Sirius stayed quiet, musing things in his mind.

-"Blimey, Sirius. You're oblivious,"- James pinched the bridge of his nose, -"He's your favorite Marauder, that's for damn sure; you're the first to visit him at the hospital, you bring him raw meat every night before the full moon, chocolate and water, you soften his pillow, you give him massages—"- At Sirius' dismayed look, James snorted, -"Yes, I've seen you two when you think the rest aren't looking—oh, and I also know you sometimes sleep in his bed at night. Anyways, do I need to finish the list?"

-"Fine, he's special to me. So what?"- Sirius snapped crossly, -"That doesn't mean anything."

-"Well, he's a dear friend to me too, you know, but I wouldn't do half of those things with him. Oh, almost forgot, I also know you help him undress _and_ —"

-"Okay, shut it already! I get it!"- Sirius yelled, stood again and started pacing the room anxiously, -"So I… I f—fancy him, but I don't… I don't know what to—how am I supposed to—?"

-"Just go and talk to him,"- James shrugged, -"Like you do with girls."

-"It's not that simple!"- Sirius hissed.

-"Why not?"

-"Honestly, Prongs! Are you a moron?"- Exasperated, Sirius threw his hands in the air, -"Because it's _Remus!"_

-"So?"

-"What do you mean 'so'?"- Sirius mimicked him mockingly.

-"It's just Remus—"

-"Exactly!"

-"—so I don't see any problem at all,"- James continued nonchalantly, -"He's your best friend. Should be easy. People say it all the time: _the best lover is your best mate."_

-"You're not getting it!"

-"Or you're just being dramatic,"- Then he stopped, furrowing his brows and looking at Sirius judgingly. He sat a little straighter, -"Wait, is this about his _furry little problem_?"

-"No, it has nothing to do with that."

-"Then what?"

-"I told you it's—!"

The two friends were interrupted by the sound of the doorknob rattling and the idle chitchat of the other two Marauders, who stopped talking when the door stayed shut, -"Um, James?"- It was Remus and Sirius' heart jumped.

-"Why's the door locked?"- Peter asked.

-"Maybe Sirius' back and they're having a talk?"

-"A talk? Why didn't they wait for us?"- Peter asked, affronted.

-"A _private_ talk, Peter."- Remus chuckled and Sirius thought it was melodious.

-"Oh."

Sirius quickly whipped his head at James and gripped the collar of his robe to jostle him frantically, -"You can't say a word about this to him! Swear it, James!"- Sirius hissed.

-"Yes, alright!"- James said quickly, trying to shove Sirius away, -"I swear!"- He dusted his robes and huffed before walking to the door, -"Coming!"

Sirius tried to normalize his looks; he ran both hands through his long hair to straighten the sticking strands, and placed a hand over the spot where he was slapped and pressed, hoping against hope that Remus wouldn't notice.

James opened the door and in came Peter hopping on his feet and Remus strolling behind, both with bowls full of different kinds of food to the brim.

-"We're back!"- Peter piped, taking a cupcake from his bowl and slouching on his bed, -"And we brought a _lot_ of food!"

The podgy boy didn't seem to notice the atmosphere around the room, but Remus did, as expected. The clever berk.

-"Is everything alright?"- He asked, -"Don't tell me you two have been arguing again."

-"Naw, it's nothing like that,"- James provided the answer, elbowing Sirius, -"Right, mate?"

Sirius just shrugged, doing everything in his power to avoid looking at Remus because lying to him was a pointless conatus; Sirius sometimes thought the werewolf was too smart for his own good. It was difficult, however, when the other party was trying to do the opposite.

-"Padfoot, what happened?"- He asked, searching for the grey eyes, -"How did it go with your date?"

-"We were just talking about that, actually,"- James spoke, scratching the nape of his neck, -"Er… let's just say he's feeling kinda bumped."

-"Oh no,"- Peter gasped and covered his mouth, -"She dumped you?"

Remus furrowed his eyebrows, thoughtful, and Sirius was attacked with a pang of panic. Something doesn't fit in that mind of his and he's trying to find out what.

 _He's gonna find out, he's gonna find out_ _—_

-"Yeah, she… she did."- Sirius said because he hadto say _something_.

-"Golly!"- Peter chimed, scandalized, -"That's never happened before!"

Sirius just shrugged, wishing for the ground to swallow him. The mere fact that Remus was in the same room as his set his nerves aflame. He wanted to make a beeline for the door, maybe kiss Remus' cheek while he was at it, and leave Hogwarts.

-"I mean, you're irresistible!"- Peter continued with his rant, his stuffy arms flailing, -"You're the great Sirius Black, the lady-killer!"

-"Enough, Wormtail."- Sirius muttered, increasingly uneasy.

-"Tough one, that gal,"- James added with an air of elegance and excellency, -"Bet I could win her over, but this bloke's interest are elsewhere."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but he knew James was merely trying at humor, to mend the tense and gloomy feel in the air.

-"And a good work you're doing of wooing her too, Prongs,"- Remus quipped and Sirius couldn't suppress a bark of laugh, -"She hasn't yelled at you today. That's certainly an improvement."

James gasped, mock offended and surprised at Remus' uncharacteristically witticism, -"You wound me, Moony!"- He sobbed and wagged a finger in the werewolf's direction, -"You're spending too much time with Sirius, you know! You're letting him corrupt you!"

Sirius was still laughing aloud, wrapping his arms around his aching belly, momentarily forgetting the situation. He decided then that he really loved Remus and his cleverness.

Then Peter laughed and James joined a moment later. Remus was chortling, looking at Sirius with the kindness that only Remus Lupin could express. Still conflicted, Sirius Black began to feel better. It was the effect his friends had on him.

-"Maybe you've been dumped, but you still have us. We'll always be here for you,"- He said, smiling in that angelic way of his, -"Dig in then,"- He gestured to the bowl of food on his arms, -"I brought your favorite."

Sirius took the wrapped piece of bread, -"Chicken sandwich,"- By instinct, he looked up at Remus and met his eyes, -"Th… thank you."- If he tried looking away, Remus would know there was something different about him.

Remus' smile grew and for a moment… they just looked at each other and Sirius had a flashy image of him holding Remus' hand, walking down the streets of Hogsmeade on their first date, and thought he really liked it. He liked how they looked together. Maybe James was right. _Maybe_.

-"Think nothing of it,"- Remus spoke and looked away, but Sirius still noticed a shade of pink tainting his freckled cheeks, -"You've done it for me all this time."

Sirius nodded absentmindedly, -"Yeah…"

-"So chaps!"- James called, clapping his hands, -"Up for a game of Exploding Snap?"

-"Or chess?"- Remus offered.

-"No, I don't want to have my arse kicked, thank you very much."- James huffed, searching through his trunk.

-"Oh, I'm game!"- Peter said, clapping his small hands and joining Remus on his bed, not before shooting Sirius an imploring look.

Sirius' impulse was to join him, like he usually does. He realized then that even though he loses every round, Sirius still enjoyed playing chess with him. The happy, victorious smile that lights Remus' face the moment he checkmates may have something to do with it. Or they way he flushed pink as he tried to be modest about it.

But Sirius looked away and tried to pretend he didn't catch the look as he veered towards James. It was better if he avoided any awkward positions (or any more than necessary. If he wants Remus to believe that there is nothing wrong with him, he will have to play along occasionally), if he avoided having to face Remus and do something unimaginable.

James was shooting him an inscrutable look that Sirius didn't bother studying as he took a seat in his bed. He played but his mind wasn't in it. He caught himself looking sideways at Remus more than he could afford.

Overall, they had a goodtime and Sirius' mind was occupied for a moment; he felt better, less morose, but that didn't mended his mental turmoil.

Around midnight, they went to bed and closed the curtains to their four-posters. As he laid his head on the pillow, Sirius heard rustling to his left, where James' bed was, and he didn't need to look to know that his friend was searching for a piece of paper and a quill.

The crumpled ball of paper smacked the side of Sirius' head and bounced. Sirius Black sighed flaggingly before reaching for his wand at his bedside table and levitating it to his palm. He smoothened the creases and read James elegant scrawl:

 _ **See! Easy. Just talk to him, mate.**_

Sirius shook his head before sitting up and bending over the low headboard to search his trunk for one of his quills.

 _ **No. It's NOT easy. Go to sleep!**_

He replied and tossed the paper back.

James caught it deftly and shoot Sirius a skeptical look before resuming his scribbling.

 _ **Yes, it is! And I know you know! I saw how you looked at him. Remus' an easygoing gent and you know that better than anyone.**_

Sirius crumpled the paper without replying and hauled it away from James, ignoring the fact that his friend was right. It hit the wall and disappeared in the dark. He heard James groaning before muttering _Accio!_ and retrieving the paper, floating in the air until it landed on his palm once more.

 _ **Don't ignore me, berk! We haven't finished talking! Listen, just give it a go. Besides, I think he fancies you too. Only he's not so obvious. Clever berk.**_

Fancy him, Remus? That was preposterous.

 _ **Don't be daft. He's into that gal, whatshername.**_

 _ **McFusty?**_

 _ **That one. They're one and the same. Nerds, both of them. Always studying and all that bosh.**_

 _ **That's ridiculous. You got it all wrong: SHE'S into HIM. Lupin always seemed queer to me too, y'know. Never seen him giving her the doe eyes**_ _ **—**_ _ **or ANY girl! Much less try to woo some. But you'll never know if you don't TALK. TO. HIM.**_

Sirius was growing frustrated and pissed at James. Never mind the fact that, again, he _was_ right (he has never seen Lupin interested in a girl either), why the hell would he fancy Sirius? He's undoubtedly under the impression that Sirius favored girls. Not once has Sirius shown interest in a bloke before. Besides, they're different, they enjoy doing different things. What does Sirius have that might attract Remus?

Then he remembered Remus' blush when Sirius took the chicken sandwich he brought for him. After that memory came others, older yet still vivid; Remus shivering and flushing under his collar when Sirius helped him undress, moaning softly under Sirius gentle massages, his skin warm and pleasant, his heart drumming rapidly when Sirius spoons and comforts him after a nightmare, or when he gets flustered after Sirius brings him food the days before _and_ after a full moon.

Could it be…? Could James be right?

 _ **I… I don't know, mate. What if I screw up again and he stops talking to me? I can't bear that. Remus is… he's special to me.**_

Sirius heard James snit as he read his entry. He started to scribble again, faster.

 _ **You're stupid if you think Remus would do that.**_

Instead of hitting himself and waking up the other two Marauders, Sirius replied.

 _ **Sorry. You're right. I just… I don't want to risk it.**_

 _ **Oh, c'mon! Being a Marauder has taught you nothing? What's life without a little risk? No fun, that's what! Believe me when I say that you'll regret it if you don't say something. One day he'll find a nice gal, get married and have kids and I know you'll regret not taking the chance when it was right in front of you.**_

Imagining that very causatum, Sirius decided he would not like it. He thought he would feel heartbroken and very disgruntled. In fact, he hated the picture now, and felt a gush of jealousy overwhelm him. He shook his head to clear his mind before replying.

 _ **Okay, okay! I'll… I'll say something, but I'll need time. Maybe a lot. I don't know.**_

James snorted, quickly covering his mouth to stifle a laugh.

 _ **Time? Funny, you've never needed time before.**_

Sirius rolled his eyes.

 _ **I told you: this is different. This is Remus.**_

 _ **Yeah, I guess. What're you going to do then, in the mean time? Don't tell me you're going to avoid him. He'll notice. He's a smart lad.**_

 _ **I know that, genius. I'll… I dunno. I'll try to, without being too obvious.**_

Another snort escaped James.

 _ **And if, y'know, things gets outta hands?**_

Sirius gulped. Remus would expect for him to do all the things they always did. No doubt one of those could get out of hand. Sirius will have to control himself.

 _ **I'll control myself. If not, then I'll… I'll improvise. We do that all the time, don't we?**_

 _ **Right we do**_ _ **—**_ _ **you most of all, actually. Good luck, pal. And listen, it'll be alright. Trust me.**_

 _ **We'll just have to wait and see, don't we?**_

After the conversation, Sirius felt nervous, which was odd; never, not once, did he felt jittery about courting someone he fancied. This time, it was different; the person Sirius wanted to woo was a bloke. And not just any bloke either: it was Remus Lupin. He had plenty of reason to be worried.

Maybe an imaginary Remus Lupin would be easier to court.

* * *

Curse James and his knack for finding out things about Sirius that he himself didn't know, things so deep and hidden that no one could've noticed unless they were as smart as James Potter.

Weeks betided after their conversation and it was enough time for Sirius to realize he really did fancied Remus. It was quite unnerving, in all honesty, because it wasn't the casual 'I like you' scenario.

No, Sirius' feelings for Remus went beyond that and it scared him. He didn't dare say that he loved him, yet, but it was very damn near it.

In addition to that, he noticed that his attention drifted from girls to blokes more often than not. He took in the sight of a few of them, a Hufflepuff with wavy brown hair and hazel-green eyes, a Ravenclaw with short black hair and blue eyes that had an attractive lilt to his voice, and an older Gryffindor that Sirius recognized as the Quidditch Captain.

It didn't mattered, because none of them had the complete attention of the handsome Sirius Black that Remus Lupin had.

No, he though, no one did, and the girls were whisking around for him more than usual. They were easily ignored as Sirius' became aware of how much he had gawked at Remus in the past. He never realized how much attention— _detailed_ attention—he paid to his Marauder friend; for example, he was unaware of his knowledge that Remus bit his lips whenever he's reading in concentration, or when he nibbles on the end of his quills when writing an essay. Only Merlin knew how on Earth Sirius knew that before chewing his chocolate bars, Remus licks it, smoothening it with his tongue until it melts. If some dribbled out, he'd pick it up with his finger and, if he thought no one was looking, he licked his digit clean.

It was utterly adorable, but there was one _small_ problem: Sirius couldn't keep his excitement in his pants and it was driving him _bonkers_.

James kept urging him on, to talk to Remus _already,_ but Sirius would merely stand up and leave, trotting with an awkward bounce to the nearest bathroom to wank himself silly, thinking about Remus and his chocolate-doused lips, his green eyes, the scar across his face, his brown curls, his… his—!

Sirius came swiftly, arching his back and bucking his hips forward until his knees bumped with the enamel of the loo. His lips parted wide, compelled by the waves of bliss, and he bleated Remus' name aloud.

Merlin, he's crazy in love with Remus Lupin.

* * *

A week passed and Sirius had been badgering James about Remus' grace and charm and overall pulchritude and magnificence instead of walking right up to the boy in question and telling him how he feels like a proper Gryffindor.

It wasn't easy. Believe him, he tried. Every time he approached Remus and the latter flashed him with his dazzling smile, Sirius' innards twined and twisted and his legs would disobey him and turn away, sometimes _(most of the time)_ with a hardness between his legs.

He was hating himself more and more every time. These jitters and willies were uncharacteristic of him. It was preposterous; when he fancied someone, he faced them head on and confessed.

But this was different. Sirius' feelings for Remus were serious. They were real. Bottomless. He didn't wanted Remus as a hookup or a jailbait. He wanted Remus because he cared for him, because respected and loved him equally. Because Remus was very special to him. It was new for him. Scary. He could not, for all his experience, walk up to his love interest with the world's confidence.

He was stepping through the portrait hole to Gryffindor's common room when he remembered that the full moon was due in one day. Meaning, he was expected to be giving a rubdown _very soon_. It's not that he didn't wanted, on the contrary he _does_ want to touch Remus, but in his mind… that was one of the _getting out of hands_ scenarios.

-"He's upstairs, aching all over again,"- James spoke up from where he sat on the sofa with Peter at his side. He didn't even look up to see Sirius flinching, -"You should, you know, give him a _hand._ "

-"Sod off, Potter."- Sirius mumbled before making a beeline up the stairs. He quickly closed the door behind him.

Just then, Remus walked out of the bathroom; steaming, wet and half-naked, wearing only a towel around his waist, completely exposing the marred skin of his legs and torso. The skin Sirius could not stop dreaming about. The skin that has been giving him the most erotic of wet dreams. Why was Remus playing with his poor heart like that?

-"Sirius?"- Called Remus.

-"H—huh?"- There he goes again, rendering Sirius unable to form coherent speech, -"R—Remus, I—uh…"

-"Come to check on me?"- Remus finished for him with a knowing smile.

-"I—er— _yes_. I… I did."- Sirius replied, cussing himself mentally. _Stop stuttering!_

-"What're you waiting for then?"- Said Remus, his green orbs twinkling.

It was an invitation. Sirius had enough experience to know that Remus— _Remus Lupin the Prefect, the bookish egghead, the shy and quiet Marauder_ —was leading him on. It could only mean one thing and Sirius would be damned if he missed the chance to know.

Feeling confident, Sirius walked across the dormitory and stopped right in front of his friend. Remus smiled, tilting his head to the side to allow room for Sirius' hands.

Said hands started working right away, feeling and easing the tension in Remus' body with gentle squeezes and rubs. Sirius twiddled every ridge and bump of Remus' body, every tarnished tissue of scar and they were so familiar that Sirius only needed to be on the lookout for new ones. With a sigh of reprieve and delight, Remus closed his eyes and swayed forward, closer to Sirius.

He was doing it, making his moves when it was Sirius' job to make the advances.

But Sirius was nothing if not daring. He pushed forward too until Remus' back touched the wall, causing the latter to shiver slightly. When Sirius' finger dug into his shoulder blades, Remus arched forward voluntarily, causing his middle to graze Sirius' own.

It was a smooth move, one that took Sirius by surprise. He didn't think Remus was capable, but it didn't meander his will. If anything, it strengthened it, knowing that his party was interested.

Once his fingers finished with Remus' backside, they sidled back up his chest and neck until they cupped his cheeks. Sirius thumbs stroked his sharp cheekbones in circles, gentle and slow, and when Remus closed his eyes again to the sensation, Sirius did his ultimate move.

He kissed Remus full in the lips.

The gasp that escaped Remus' lips was short and pleasant before he kissed Sirius back. His lips were tender and warm, but the kiss was urgent and sloppy. Desperate. Now that he had it, Sirius couldn't control himself, not when he had kept himself in the leash for a week; he pried open Remus' lips, prodding it with his tongue, and toured his cavity wholly. He tied his tongue with Remus', tasting his saliva and clinking his teeth with the other, until the electricity was too dynamic for either of them to handle a second longer.

-"Did James told you?"- Asked Sirius after parting to catch some air.

Remus chuckled and shook his head, -"No, you did,"- At Sirius' befuddled look, he laughed, -"You're not very subtle, Pads."

-"Or you're too smart."

-"That too,"- The werewolf said, leaning into Sirius' lips for another kiss, this one gentle and lazy, consisting of mellow bites and licks. It was passionate, -"You look adorable when you're nervous, you know."- He commented between kisses.

-"Shut up."

He was glad Remus thought that and not that he was a complete coward. His doubts and worries were gone as his affections were reciprocated; every kiss he gave Remus was eagerly accepted and responded with more kisses, every touch was met with delighted shivers and gasps, and every 'I love you' received an 'I love you too' in return.

Sirius was truly happy then. He felt complete and content.

-"Shall we drop the towel?"- Sirius asked suggestively, tugging at the white cloth around Remus' waist.

The werewolf flushed pink, -"I don't think that's… appropriate. What if the others come in?"

-"They won't. James probably set this up in the first place,"- Said Sirius, pulling Remus to his four-poster by the hands, -"C'mon, let's have some fun. I'll make you feel so much better you won't be able to even _stand_ tomorrow."

Remus' blush spread to his ears and temples as Sirius kissed him again, his fingers working to undo the knot of the towel. He grinned triumphantly when it came loose and fell, exposing Remus and his entire nakedness.

As the werewolf's ruddiness continued to grow under Sirius' intense stare, the latter hummed in appreciation; he has seen Remus naked before. Many times. But now, he was seeing him under a new light and Sirius was enjoying it more; despite his condition, Remus was looking good. He was fairly thewy, not too lean nor too bulky, just perfect. His arms were long, his legs tall and graceful, and his belly flat. Sirius' eyes were, inevitably, drawn to Remus' prick, stiff and mildly erect. It was long, long enough to fit into his mouth, and the bush of light hair over it was enticing. Really, Sirius could _not_ take his eyes off.

Aroused, Remus huffed in chagrin, -"Are you going to stare at me all day?"

-"I could stare at you all day, yeah,"- Sirius replied cheekily. His smile grew fondly as he looked up at Remus, -"You're stunning."

By now, Remus' face was looking like a tomato and Sirius had expected it when the other moved forward, pressing his body against Sirius', seeking friction and heat. Sirius took Remus' face in his hands and kissed him, all the while pushing him gently on his bed…

Until James came bursting through the door like he owned the place, -"Did you get him, Black? Didya, did—?"- His mouth stopped working when he registered the scene before him: Remus naked with Sirius towering over him. Then, just as quick as he entered, he vanished.

Sirius barked a laugh, but Remus was still looking at the spot where James once was. He hit Sirius in the shoulder, -"I told you they could come in!"

-"It's fine. You worry too much,"- Sirius waved his hand dismissively, pushing Remus' with it, and leaned down slowly over his raw frame, -"Now, where were we?"

-"Can we… can you close the curtains, please?"- Remus pleaded, still looking at the door, -"I _don't_ want to see Peter's face if he comes in too."

-"Fine."- With a wave of his wand, the curtains slid to a close and Sirius returned to Remus.

More guarded and secured, Remus' libido boosted and his desire for Sirius augmented as he carefully undressed him; slow and patiently, savoring every moment, unlike the girl Sirius snogged in the cupboard. Starting by the cardigan and white buttoned-up shirt, Remus finished by pushing Sirius' pants down with his feet, taking with it his underwear until he was completely unclad over him.

Pleasantries were eschewed as Remus hooked his hands around Sirius' neck and hauled him down, smashing their lips together once more. They kissed fervently, drowning in each other's taste and balm while hands maneuvered to touch every part of their bodies; Remus palmed Sirius' backside, feeling his heat and the nodules of his athletic body, while Sirius ran his own hands up and down Remus' chest, crossing over the familiar scars. He pinched the boy's perk nipples and bit his bottom lip, causing Remus to moan into Sirius' mouth.

-"Why haven't we done this earlier?"- Sirius panted, moving his mouth down to Remus' chest.

-"Because you—"- He was cut short as Sirius took one of his teats into his mouth and started sucking and biting lovingly. Another moan, louder, emitted from his lips. His back curved up, pressing his chest to Sirius' mouth, and his hand latched onto Sirius' bedsheets, -"—were too busy snogging girls."

-"Huh,"- Sirius breathed and continued his journey down Remus' belly, plating arbitrary kisses over the skin and blisters he knew so well, -"You're right. I _must_ make it up for you then,"- He said sultrily, climbing back up to chomp on Remus' earlobe, nestling and nuzzling his nose on the crook of his neck, -"What do you want, Moony?"- He whispered.

Remus' skin burned under his mouth as he pondered the offer, sweating and shivering with need. Sirius loved it. He loved everything of Remus.

-"I want—"- He spoke, only to be interrupted by Sirius' teasing mouth on the fore of his neck, tongue lolling and teeth pecking his apple, -"I want you to— _God_ , Sirius…"

-"Hm?"- Sirius hummed, running his tongue and sucking over Remus' chin before meeting his lips, his nose grazing his lover's, -"What is it, Moony?"- Sirius' hands grasped Remus' arms, pushing them up until they laid over his head. He clasped his fingers between Remus', locking them in place, and looked down to the reddened face of his best mate, -"You want me to shag you? Is that it?"

Remus gulped and nodded.

-"Say it."- Breathed Sirius under heavy lashes.

The werewolf parted his lips and breathed through his nose, -"Fuck me, Sirius. I want you to fuck me."

A satisfied grin bloomed in Sirius' handsome face as he leaned down to resume ravishing Remus' mouth, inside and out. At the same time, he stroked his cock, getting it stiff and ready for penetration. With his own pre-cum, he doused his fingers enough to finger Remus' entrance.

Eagerly, Remus spread his legs to welcome Sirius' fingers. Without wasting another second, he inserted the first two digits in and started sawing and scissoring, opening up Remus' artifice for the throbbing member between Sirius' legs. The walls of the former's backdoor were hot and slick around his finger and Sirius was more zealous to continue pushing in, seeking more of Remus' heat inside.

The werewolf was squirming underneath him, gasping and whining for Sirius to give him _more_. Sirius complied and shoved a third digit in, now thrusting in and out more frantically and causing Remus' body to jounce. Once he touched his prostate and Remus yelped for a stop, Sirius halted his movements.

-"Ready for me?"- He asked, scrubbing and lubricating his length with his own pre-cum.

Remus nodded briskly, panting and grabbing the sheets above him.

-"Good Moony."- Sirius teased Remus' entrance with the tip of his penis, rubbing in circles and prodding the girth, earning himself an impatient groan from Remus, who plummeted his hips against Sirius' groin urgently.

He decided to indulge his desperate lover by penetrating him, starting from the head of his penis and driving in home slowly. Feeling Remus wincing and squirming under him, Sirius stopped when the shaft of his cock went inside and allowed Remus' sinus to get used to the invasion. His lover's walls stretched warmly around him. Remus sighed and hummed.

-"Feels good?"- Sirius asked, leaning down to kiss Remus' lips, all the while running circles over one of his knees in a lazy pattern.

The other simpered, his eyes opaque with lust, -"Brilliant."

-"You feel amazing inside too,"- Sirius commented, dragging the palms of his hands up and down the length of Remus' legs, -"Can I move now?"

-"Yes,"- Remus huffed, -"Fuck me, Sirius. Please."

Moving inside Remus, fucking his hole raw, was the best part yet after having hilted; Sirius' thrusts were slow and careful at first, but a second later both boys yielded to their thirst for heat and pleasure. For the feel and want of each other. Remus had his legs locked around Sirius hips, urging him to move faster and harsher, while his arms latched on the skin of his backside. On the other hand, Sirius was clutching Remus' hips with a vice-like grip, pulling his midriff back only to pound his cock inside, each time with more vigor, and clubbing the bull's-eye. He was relishing in the sounds of their skins smacking together, the wet squelch of his prick coming in and out of Remus, and the whines and moans of his lover.

This is what he wanted; to have Remus all to himself, in his arms, under him, above him, _everywhere._

Both boys climaxed before they could announce it, with Sirius being the first, stuffing Remus inside, and then Remus at the feel of Sirius' hotness trickling out of his pucker. They moaned together as they continued to rut, dragging the orgasms as far as possible.

Exhausted, the boys slouched lazily on their shared bed, holding each other close and whispering sweet-nothings, with a few lewd remarks in between, into their ears.

-"What're we going to do next, hm?"- Asked Sirius, tapping the cleft of his chin, -"Want to shag me? Or should I give you a nice blowjob?"

-"Sirius,"- Remus blushed pink from one cheek, across his nose, to the other cheek, -"I'm—"

-"Tired, I know. Full moon tomorrow. Which means,"- Crawling on all four, Sirius moved down Remus' body to his pelvis, -"That we should focus on making you feel better _all_ night."

Remus was speechless, with Sirius' face so dangerously close to his member, his hot breath brushing lightly over it, that arousal re-kindled and hardened his once loose prick.

Sirius decided that the real Remus was better as he took his reinvigorated dick to his mouth.

* * *

-"Can we come in now?"- James asked from the other side of the door to the Marauder's dormitory, -"Please."

Sirius snickered and Remus sighed. The latter was about to reply, but Sirius interrupted him by planting an open-mouthed and ridiculously loud kiss on his lips, -"Nope!"- He shouted.

James' tired groan was clearly heard, but he did not entered until three in the morning, when Sirius and Remus were long asleep.


End file.
